Sin: A Deadly Anesthetic

Narrow: of small or limited width; especially in comparison with length

The Bible refers to our walk of faith as 'the narrow road' but sometimes, I think we forgot what that means.  We don't realize that the image is similar to a foot path or in other words, it isn't much wider than your feet breadth.  That's not a lot of space and there are acres on either side that you can so easily side step into.  Acres that seem just a hair off: 'it's only one day skipping my Bible reading', 'I can pray extra tomorrow', 'I need sleep for my big test tomorrow', and the list goes on. 

Now, there are times when Bible reading or extensive prayer just can't happen.  Watching my mom raise five kids has taught me a lot about praying on the go or being okay with five minutes of Bible here and there on the miracle seconds when no children need her.  That's not what I'm talking about.  What I mean is when we have time and we don't take it.  We let the world distract us and we forget God and it is only a very few steps before we are tumbling down a cliff and suddenly, we are miles from where we should be.

This is my personal experience.  College has taught me a lot more than just the education in the classrooms and in some ways, it pushed me closer to God and my family but the every present pressure for more time got to me and I let my devotions and prayer time dwindle till it was practically nothing.  And I barely noticed.  I was really in a dangerous spot but God is more merciful then my faithfulness and He smacked me in the face enough that I woke up and realized what I'd been doing.

Even then though, it was hard because sin is an anesthetic and I found that my heart had begun to cool and while I knew how much I had been given by my Savior, He felt like a stranger.  A friend who I hadn't seen in so long that I didn't really know them anymore. 

So now, I am reintroducing myself to my Savior.  Bible time and prayer isn't easy.  A lot of times, I just want to go to sleep but I know that the effort will be worth it. 

I don't care what it is: food, money, a relationship, your kids, your parents, TV, school, NOTHING is more important than God and NOTHING will satsify you the way He does.  If you can see yourself in what I'm talking about, read Psalms and really think about them.  Look at the joy of the righteous and the ultimate sorrow of the wicked who thinks his sin is not noticed.  Americans aren't encouraged to have an eternal perspective but as Christians, we MUST!! 

No matter how hard it is, no matter what 'fun' we supposedly miss out on, no matter what we must sacrifice, a life of faithfulness is so worth it!  This is the Being who created everything, who died for your sin.  How can any created thing measure up to an intimate, eternal relationship with Him?

Spiritual Amputation

Burn. Singe.  Sear the darkness from my bones.

Irradicate.  Amputate the chaos within me.

It is overwhelming me.  Drowning me.  I'm dying in my own sin.  The Light is in me.  You said that.  I believe You.  But the darkness hates the Light.  It wants You dead.  And if it can't get You, then it wants to take me with it.

No. No. No.  I am tired to listening to darkness.  Sick of being blind.  No more lies.  No more cowardice. 

Take the scalpel to my life and carve away everything that is not from You.

For I know that it is better to enter Your glory maimed then to be thrown whole into the anguish of hell.  And You will love me, broken and worthless as I am.  You will kiss my scars and I will see Yours.  Is any pain too much for that prize?