Oil: black, slippery-slidey all over me.
On my hands, dribbling down the sides of my face
It bubbles up from deep inside me
I cough and cough and cough.
I can't get it out of me
I need it. I want it.
Smiling at the blackness running down my arms
I'm revolted at myself.
How can I crave something so deadly?
Don't I smell its rotten odor?
Can't I taste that acid warning?
It oozes inside me: the oil out there magnetizing to the oil in here.
When I'm angry, afraid, alone - it comes pumping out,
spraying everywhere.
I weep but the tears can't flow right
Blocked by the oil on my face.
I live in a world of oil-people who tell me its okay.
The blackness is good
Just go with it - you'll get used to the smell quickly.
It's so easy to just ignore how filthy I am.
I live half blinded by the oil
It covers my vision like a cancer.
I'm in desperate need of Light
but the Light will kill me.
The oil will destroy me - the Light will unmake me.
Sear it off me! I'm scraping, scraping but it's too sticky!
Burn it away.
Never mind the stench of crisping hair and smoking flesh.
My body is rank with death.
Sometimes, the oil chokes me so I can barely breathe
My smeared hand trembles towards the sky
The blackness bubbles as I whimper: "Save me!"
God has been working in a lot of ways in my life lately. Over the past few months, I've realized that I've started to compromise, to give in so that I would fit better with the world. That's a dangerous road and so easy to get lost on. Living a life as your own god seems appealing and pleasant but in reality, it will kill you. You will waste your life and you will miss out on the sweet, cleansing bliss of knowing the God who made you. Don't let sin blind you, dear one. Don't let it take hold in your heart. Look to the Light, remember His saving love, and live faithfully. You may not be the most popular or the prettiest or the best person on campus, but you will have pleased the Being who knows every star by name. I think the trade of is worth it!
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